Good morning friends! It’s your ever evolving friend Craughing Girl and we are back at Friday… and that means Faceless Friday!! For our newbies that means I tell you all about the things that rocked my face off this past week.  A way to look at my life and recognize the big (or small) things that I am grateful for.  I have found throughout the years that when things are heavy (and the world is on fire) finding gratitude is extremely important and a radical act of rebellion in a world designed to keep us buried in the mundane. So, here we are, let’s look at what rocked my face off this week. 

Ever Evolving. Ever evolving, to the point that I am back to that confident, badass, fun teenager I was before so much life happened that I ended up being me in a completely different way. The girl that wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself, who spoke her mind, had strong ass boundaries, and wouldn’t let people play in her face or with her feelings.  Before people told me those things were selfish.  Before everyone beat into me that other’s feelings were more important than mine and that if I kept acting like mine mattered, I wouldn’t have anyone at all.  The truth of the matter is the people I traded for that girl weren’t worth it.  They hurt me, used me, abused me, and treated me just like I was treating myself, like I didn’t matter.  Like I didn’t have a voice and like they were more important.  I am so strong, loud, confident, when it comes to everyone else, but along the way I traded my needs for everyone else’s just so no one would think I was selfish or self-absorbed.  How sad that one of the worst things we can say to a woman is that she is selfish?  And the truth of the matter? I was a teenager dealing with a friend’s suicide, my mentor and teacher’s death, losing best friends and then losing Kit.  I was a kid dealing with heavy shit, and I didn’t have the support I needed, and it was easier for people to say I was selfish than help me or see that I had my own needs.  The adults in my life were teaching me how to counsel my peers about grief and the stages of it, while I was tiptoeing around in case someone thought I was making my feelings more important than theirs.  When I tell you that I am so ready to be that girl before it all began, I am telling you that from the depths of my soul.  Moments that changed the trajectory of my life and brought me back here.  Still writing, still listening to music, still doing candle magic, just about 8 lifetimes in between. Finally seeing boundaries and self-love as not being selfish? That rocks my face off.  Finally loving myself again?  That has rocked my whole world.  

I think that is all I have to say today.  Let’s wrap up with the round up list of other things that rocked my face off this week! 

Coffee, creamer, MUSIC, mindless tv, painting, transplanting plants working, all my seeds sprouting, my kiddo, my doggo, my cattos, playing frisbee, when the kid lets me teach him things without him already “knowing” everything lol, 2.5 hour phone calls, tiny rainbows, when my feet are warm, laughter and lightness, my neighbor filling up my lawnmower, the amount of time I had with my old man dog  Nico, my brothers, and YOU dear reader.  Thank you for riding it all out with me.