Faceless Friday is upon us again. Here is where we find the gratitude for the past week and list out what has rocked our faces off the past week.  A weekly pastime of Craughing Land for the last ten years or so.  I believe that finding an attitude of gratitude can change your mind and therefore change your life.  I’m in no way saying that is easy, but it is possible.  Sometimes you have to dig deep, sometimes you have to be grateful for the “simple” things, only to find they aren’t that simple. Welcome to Faceless Friday.

Let’s begin. Here is what has rocked my face off this past week, in no particular order:

Vulnerability and Craughers: (side note it took me three tries to spell vulnerability, if that’s any indication of how foreign it is to me in my real life) As Craughing grew over 12 years ago it twisted and turned with my life and followed my journey through trials and tribulations with domestic abuse, some that I haven’t even began to share yet.  October being Domestic Abuse Awareness Month is a big deal to me and I have made it a point (when my page is active) to flood Craughing Facebook page with information, resources and my own personal story.  I am so grateful for everyone that took the time to read my latest blog post Breaking the Trauma Bond.  I am grateful for those that shared it and my dear friend LS for sharing it on her mega big page 😉 I appreciate the support and love I received for sharing a part of my self and for some tips I found helpful in my journey. You all rock my face off, forever and always.

My son. Aka Mister Man, Duder Butt, and Duuuddeee…. He may be mean as hell to his momma a majority of the time, but he sure as hell gave me a reason to change my life and my mindset.  Before him I was reckless with my body, my mind and my life.  I felt worthless, and unlovable so it didn’t matter how men or people treated me.  Didn’t matter if I stayed or went in an abusive relationship because in my mind I was only hurting myself.  All of that changed the night his father abused me in front of him.  He was only three months old, and I pray his body forgets the adrenaline he must have felt as the dogs and his Momma’s energy spiked.  Seeing my baby laying on that bed, helpless, pure and beautiful was finally enough for me to leave. I decided right then and there that he would never be subjected to that again, that he would never lay witness to a man abuse his mother, especially not his father. (There unfortunately would be another time, but that’s for a different story) He gave me the courage and the reason to take care of myself so that I could take care of him.  Something I do not take lightly and something I have promised not to share with him.  I will not put the weight of my life on those little shoulders, but will live each day with immense joy and gratitude that we are able to live peacefully and with great love.  That we are able to dance freely, giggle and laugh, tell stories, cry and love with out walking on eggshells.  I am forever grateful for the life my son has given me, he has most definitely rocked my face off completely.

Friendships. True friendships.  The people I can call when all hell is breaking loose and I am up to my neck in worry and fear.  Thank you my friends for always loving me, never making me feel ashamed and always having my back.  You are my foundation, my help, and my hearts. Without you I would not be here and I appreciate and adore you always. Thank you.

Well, this got a little heavier than I expected this morning, I blame lack of sleep on that, so let’s get to the roundup list so we can get back to the day. In no particular order here are some honorable mentions of what has rocked my face off this week:

Coffee, Music, a new book!! (The Fourth Dragon OMGGGGG I am fucking obsessed with this book!!), a vehicle to drive while mine sits and stares at me being a pos still, the Dogs for all of their love and emotional support, Moonshadow for her antics, surprise help when I need it, being able to file protective orders online now (more on that later), clean dishes!!, my neck finally chilling the fuck out enough that I can sit at my laptop again!, my family though they may be distant I know when I need them soon they will be here, my son’s best friend J and his beautiful soulful heart and the love and bond they share already and that he feels comfortable with me and that I get to pretend to be a twin mom sometimes (LOL), my Manifestation Princess for HER heart and the way that she reflects all of the work I have done on myself back to me (I see YOU, and YOU are loved, loving and LOVEABLE), my OG KT for doing the hard fucking work even if she doesn’t want to and even if she doesn’t have a choice (you’re gonna be just fine my friend), my other OG JDawg for ALWAYS being my go to body burrier, thank you my friend, sincerely and always, thank you, Tiny Christ for being my muse, my confident, my inspiration and my reasoning board on so many occasions, I appreciate and love you so much, The Feisty Christy Crew for coming in clutch ALWAYS and in all ways, I am honored to be loved and seen by you, and for you, dear reader for still being here after all of these years, all of my mistakes and all of my triumphs. I am so very grateful I get to share my life with you and it my pleasure and my goal to share more. YOU rock my face off, and I am so very humbled and in awe that we have made it this far.

Much love.

Craughing Girl