Welcome to day 84 of January where the terrors continue to persist, but so do we! It’s hard to believe we aren’t further in the year with all that has happened, it’s like we are speed running the downfall of the USA or our revolution (I am SO hopeful it’s that later). And what do we do when the world feels heavy, the weather is negative degrees and we want to give up? We dig deep for gratitude because we remember that is when we need it the most, you know the drill. Welcome back to Faceless Friday, let’s get busy looking at what rocked my face off this week.

Clarity. Or rather clarity that can no longer be ignored. I have been writing all week, working on my book, and seeing all of my patterns even more clearly that I have in the past. I have known these patterns for years now but seeing them written out in a timeline is like seeing the sun peak through after a thunderstorm. Chasing the same feelings of worthiness and validation then becomes running at full speed into a brick wall and hoping this time it doesn’t hurt. Or telling myself that if I walk up to the wall it won’t hurt as bad when I drag my face against it’s rough surface. Isn’t that the thing about healing our core wounds no one tells us about? The wounds remain. They will ALWAYS be there, the healing is how we react to them. The healing is in how we notice them and pivot instead of cutting open the scar we so carefully healed. The healing is in the “I have seen myself do this before, I do not like how this feels and what this does to me” and walking away. The clarity that comes with truly healing or recognizing those deep wounds rocks my face off.

Stability. Well, as much as I have had in my life. That is another thing about mapping my life out lately, I have seen where I have never had what my son has now and oh how that has warmed me from the inside out. To be able to offer my child what I should have had is something that words cannot describe. To know he feels safe to act completely feral and goofy without fear is amazing (and sometimes exhausting). He talks about his feelings, his day, cries when he feels called too and laughs easily. All things I was not allowed to do. Having this opportunity to witness his growth and be a part of it rocks my face off like nothing else.

And because said duder is home from school because of the weather I need to wrap this up. Let’s do our weekly round up.

In no particular order (you know the drill):

Coffee, brown sugar because I am out of creamer and regular sugar, warm socks, electric blanket, freedom ride videos of horses, heat, running water, music (always and forever), expressing boundaries and upholding them for myself, my plants hanging on for dear life in this old ass drafty farm house, sunshine, the Flobots making new protest music, and you dear reader. You always rock my face off. Thank you for being here again this week.

All love. All ways. Always.

Craughing Girl.