Remember how I always say when things are extra heavy and gratitude is hard to find, that is when we need it the most? Are we all feeling that? Are we all just completely crushed by the weight of the world and how we are going to survive, but also still being forced to live life like nothing is happening and paying bills? That’s the collective thing, right? We are just watching the downfall of America while simultaneously paying into it’s corporations and greed. And what do we do when our capitalistic war machine of a government acts a fool kids? We find things that rocked our face off and find some gratitude because I will be fucking damned if they also take joy away from us. Fuckers. SOOOOOOO… Welcome back to Faceless Friday, where I list out all the things that rocked my face off this week because finding any amount of joy right now is a radical act of rebellion and we were born to rise.

Community. Real community and bearing witness to it in live feeds, first hand recordings, and first hand experiences and not some made up propaganda bullshit that is being fed to many people. I have bore witness to women screaming from their rooftops, windows and porches about ICE being in their neighborhoods. The scene is unreal, nauseating and honestly I do not think I can define it properly. Hearing the cries of mothers, of ancestors, screaming like that to try and protect their community is a thing of absolute force and beauty. The cries of every woman’s’ womb erupting, guttural, feral and like home in one message: “be safe, be well, please stay alive”. Community protecting their own and knowing the importance of that rocks my face off.

Healing. I am writing behind the scenes of this blog. Trying very hard to get things organized into a readable format so I can move forward with some sort of publishing… and there is absolutely no way in hell I could do any of it without the intense and immense amount of gut-wrenching healing work I have done in the last eight years (or 20). To be able to write as a witness and not a victim is a miracle I honestly did not think was possible. I still have to take what I call “trauma breaks” because even healed there are still those “What in the actual fuck” feelings that come up in the body (this is why somatic healing is also important!!). All of that rambling sentence to say… fuck… look how far I have come. Look at me taking dance breaks and singing at the top of my lungs to weird ass songs (thanks Ween) when I need a break instead of spiraling into a week long disassociation. Will this always be the case? Maybe not, but for this week, and for this moment, healing and dancing rocks my face off.

My Magic. I sat down the other day and wrote out a list of all of the things I have manifested in my life that got me here, safe and to this point, starting as a toddler. My magic, my mind, and my thoughts have always been powerful and taking a moment to see how they have worked in my life has been a game changer this week. We still have control of that. Hope and direction for that hope is something no one can take away from you and that rocks.

And my dear friends, I feel like maybe we need to wrap this up with something a bit lighter like the weekly round up list. In no particular order, other than coffee, here is what else has rocked my face off this week:

Coffee, cinnamon in my coffee, hazelnut creamer for my coffee when I run out of peppermint creamer for my coffee, a cool coffee cup, being able to drink coffee whenever I want, drinking coffee all day long, and coffee, MUSIC (always and forever, amen), my smart kiddo and how proud he was he won an award for being respectful in school AND aced a spelling test, having an electric blanket because my room be staying cold AF, this drafty old farm house, my dogs, being able to kick things, still being able to use my neighbors truck because my car is still broken, said neighbor feeding me and my kid every weekend, my family, my friends, showers and how I feel after I actually force myself to take the fucking things, three pounds of moisturizing products for my translucent winter skin, people thinking I am in my thirties when they see pics of me when I am most def not, and YOU dear reader. Thank you for being here and please know that I sincerely mean that and I see you showing up every week and I am GRATEFUL. You rock my face off. Keep going!

All love. All ways. Always.

Craughing Girl