It’s Fridayyyyyyy… so, it’s time to show up and show out with some gratitude!! Faceless Friday is a tradition I started over ten years ago where I recap the past week and let y’all know what rocked my face off. Let’s get to it!

Crying so hard my eye holes swelled to slits! Yeah,  I’m being grateful for crying. Mostly because it’s honestly been years since I’ve let myself cry so long and so freely. I cried for the little girl who just wanted someone to notice her. I cried for the adult woman who keeps thinking she still needs the same. Someone to see her so she can make any sort of moves in her life. To be seen, heard, encouraged, loved, acknowledged for everything falling a part and everything I have put in place already.  I cried that I still want that validation from someone, anyone, when all I really need is to see myself and love me enough to see I’m doing okay and will keep surviving my hardest days. With applause or not. Self love, and tears, rocks.

Help. I had so much help the last two days! My neighbor has been letting me use his truck since my car is not working properly. I have yet to figure out why or how to get my car checked out becase poor and alone lol. I am so very grateful that he has taken my son and me in as family the way has.  My friend AJ surprised me today with a whole trunk load of food from the local food pantry!! How cool is that! Such a blessing and so thoughtful of her! My OG KT went and got my prescriptions for me and then I found out there were 7 of them!! (I feel bad now I thought it was a lower end 3) and said I could pay her back later (and then said don’t worry about it, so we’ll probably fight over that later) And my therapist, God love the woman,  didnt kick me out of her office or call me in for grippy sock vacay when I scream cried that I didn’t want her to fix anything I just wanted someone to fucking listen to me and treat me like I mattered and care that I was hurting so bad that I don’t want to be alive. Having people sit in my darkness with me and genuinely acknowledge my hurt and needs rocks my face off.  These people have made me feel loveable even in my darkness, and for that I am grateful.

Okay, now I’m crying again, so let’s wrap up with our “quick list”. In no particular order here are some other things and people that have rocked my face off this past week:

Coffee (forever and always), music, reading (great way to finally get out of my head), Nico Harper and Josie Girl for being the best dogs, Moonshadow for being my little purring stow away, Mister Man and his bravery he showed after having to go to 2 dentists this week, peanut butter and jelly (and a baseball bat), Tiny Christ and her amazing friendship and support even if she won’t move her whole life and tattoo business to my state ;), and sleep because it’s now 1 am and the kiddo is gonna be up for school very, very soon. Thank you Craughers for being here and for always being a part of this journey.

Also, please, please check on your friends. Check on your funny, strong and stubborn friends too. PLEASE make sure you check on your friends that are on fixed incomes, disability, low salary, single, etc. I know we are all struggling right now, but maybe we can all help one another? I’m going to be very brutally honest and vulnerable right now and I’m telling you this because I want it to be an example so you know to check on your friends. We haven’t had toilet paper for two weeks. We haven’t had milk. I have been rationing the food we have so that my son gets what he needs. There have been days I have only drank coffee. (That’s actually not that strange, LOL) I took snacks from the counseling center to be able to pack for his snacks for school this week. I am telling you this because I am not the only one. I am not the only parent who is struggling and worrying right now about how to feed their child and keep the lights on, get a car fixed, and whatever else. WE ARE ALL HURTING RIGHT NOW. Please check on your friends. Be nosey, show up with “extras” if you see they need stuff. And don’t be afraid to ask people when you do need things. Food banks often have pantry hours too for household items (often at the weirdest times btw) but don’t be ashamed or feel weird. We are all in this together and we all need to be helping on another.

I love you. ❤️ Keep fighting.